She was astonished, and at the same time she knew. There were so many things in life like that. You couldn’t imagine it, and then it happened and you couldn’t really imagine it didn’t.
—The Last Summer, Anne Brashares
Sound
Do you have favorite sounds? I do.
I think that it’s relaxing to quiet myself and my thoughts and just listen. Listen to the sounds around me and focus on whatever environment I’m in. Listening is my favorite way to get a perspective change. Taking a moment to quiet my soul and be influenced by sound always reminds me of how small a part I play in such a big world.
Some of my favorite sounds include the sound of waves crashing against rocks, babies giggling, and people singing.
One of my favorite sounds is happening right now.
The sound of hearing my friends have endless conversation flowing from one topic to the next. Listening to their thoughts and ambitions reminds me of how truly blessed I am.
It’s a sound of comfort, joy, and love.
It’s a sound of true friendship.
It’s a sound of God always knowing what my heart needs.
“She loved the freedom to let her mind rove out and out over the sea, with nothing for it to bump into.”
- The Last Summer, Anne Brashares
Happy 4th birthday, Addy!
I can’t believe that you are getting so big! It seems like just yesterday you were a baby that I used to see in the Kids Connection nursery. Now you are a little person with your own wonderful ideas, opinions, and personality.
I love that we get to spend so much time together. You make everything so much more fun with your amazing imagination. I love your way of creating new scenes and games for us to act out every time that I see you. I think that my favorite game is probably pretending to be Pippa Middleton while you are Princess Kate and Griff is Prince William.
You are so smart, creative, sweet, and beautiful. And not to mention, you are AWESOME at picking songs for dance parties.
Speaking of dance…you are a beautiful dancer. I love watching you dance. I think you inherited the dancing genes from your awesome parents. Griffy definitely inherited them, too.
To one of my most favorite little princesses, I hope you have the happiest birthday ever. I love you! Thanks for making my life so special.
Current State of the Union
In:
Summer
Sunshine
Out:
School
Studying
Officially done with my first year of college. That feels weird to say (or type?). This year wasn’t anything like I expected it to be. It was better than I expected it to be.
Around this time last year, I was about to experience a lot of things. I was leaving the place I had spent the last four years of my life. I was about to say goodbye to my teachers and thank them for their guidance over those years. I was about to experience what it feels like to walk down the steps into Lamonica Stadium where thousands heard my name being called, watched my diploma being handed to me, and watched me graduate high school. I was about to experience my last summer of true freedom, before college.
Despite all of the excitement of graduating high school and beginning college, I was more focused on another impending experience. I was about to experience what it feels like to lose someone that I love. And that, by far, was the most life-altering moment that I have ever had.
What I hadn’t yet realized was the joy from victories and the sorrow from devastations cannot be felt until the moment occurs. As much as I tried to prepare myself for the things I was about to experience, I had no idea how truly unprepared I was.
The moment that I found out she had passed away is one I will never forget. How is this happening? How could she be gone? What will the world look like without her in it? It felt as if time had stopped. Everything was moving really slowly, while my mind was racing at a million miles an hour. So many thoughts came to mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to say any of them out loud. Because when you say something out loud, it makes it real. I couldn’t say it out loud, because I couldn’t face the reality of what I just lost. In that moment, I realized that everything about me and my life was changed.
These moments and experiences are what shapes us.
The situations that we are placed in allow us to grow. To feel. To learn. To understand.
And in experiencing these moments, you change.
You adjust to missing those people who moved away to college. You learn to face your emotions and let yourself feel things completely. You accept that some days will be harder than others. Your prayers become more honest and true, because you have seen God’s faithfulness. You learn that helping to meet the needs of others is more important than your own needs. You appreciate the support and guidance of your family. You say “I love you” and “thank you,” because you, now more than ever, know the importance of words. Your bad memories fade so that you can remember good ones, again. And when those good memories do cross your mind, those tears of grief that seem to have an endless supply, begin to turn into tears of happiness. Your laughs are longer and your smiles are more frequent. You realize that even when your world seems as if it is turned upside down, God had, has, and will always have it right side up. You find joy in the most simple things, because Gods beauty is everywhere. You see your joy is doubled and your sorrow is minimized, because you realize that your experiences have helped others who have yet to experience such things. You understand the strength of true friendship, as you know that it can overcome even the most devastating tragedies. And although the ache of missing that special person never really goes away, you recognize how lucky you are to have such a special person to miss.
I am thankful for this year. For all that I have learned. For all of the people I have met. For all of the people that have helped me grow. For all of the memories I have made. For my experiences. For what God has done in my life.
I am excited to see what this summer holds.
I am excited to see what God is going to do in these next 3 months.
I’ll keep you updated.
(Source: the0hs0strange0ne, via andwhenthatsunsets)
(Source: collegeproblems)
(Source: collegeproblems)
James Vincent McMorrow’s “Early in the Morning” is my latest favorite album.
Not only do I like his music, but McMorrow seems like the kind of person I would want to be friends with. He recorded in a secluded beach house off the coast of Ireland, without any fancy shmancy equipment…just the basics.
I like people who live simply.
I like the beauty that lies within simplicity.
I listen to it when I’m driving, when I’m studying, and when I’m reading.
Love it. And you should too.
Listen to “And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop” and “We Don’t Eat.”
Humbled
Today was a reminder that I can’t always do everything on my own. I felt as if all morning, all I did was ask people how to do things. How to get on the 41 north, how to understand x, y, and z concepts, how to correctly do my lab, etc. I felt like a child who couldn’t do anything by myself.
Probably the most humbling question I asked all day was, “Hey JR. Can you please come pick me up, because I locked my keys in my car in the Target parking lot?”
It got me to thinking about how often I ask God for help. Not often enough, I decided. It is so easy for me to fall into this pattern of thinking that I can do everything on my own. And then I end up getting stressed out and overwhelmed, because I’m trying to hold everything in my little hands.
Today made me think of a few weeks ago when I visited the Bachmans (I will blog about this!) and got to attend their church, Rock Harbor, in Irvine. Their pastor said something in his sermon that resonated with me deeply. He said something close to, “Life is all about perspective. When your perspective is really small, everything in your world seems really big. But when your perspective is really big, everything in your world seems really small.” How true is that?
When I try to keep everything together on my own, my perspective is small. Days like today seem overwhelming, annoying, and frustrating. I blame myself and end up wanting to just cry. I find myself focusing on my weaknesses and overanalyzing all of the things that go wrong.
But because of Jesus, I can have a really, really big perspective. One that includes my weaknesses, but focuses on my strengths instead. One that is held in the biggest hands…the hands of the Creator of the Universe. Although I don’t understand why I tend to try to hold on to things with my little hands, I am glad that I have a God who is always loving me with open arms and endless grace.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11: 28-30
Today, I am thankful.
I am thankful for people who help me when I can’t do everything on my own.
I am thankful for experiences humbling experiences that broaden my perspective.
I am thankful for days that remind me that I am a child that is always in need of a Savior.
Most of all, I am thankful for God continually reminding me that He can sufficiently meet all of my needs, if only I just ask.
