What's Coming to Mind.

It’s times like this where I wish I could drive. There’s just so much of the world I want to see. Places I want to go. I can’t even drive anywhere right now, so I’m a bit frustrated.

I am so READY to be on my own, in college. The idea of having to make my own decisions and experience life by myself is so exciting. This is so weird to think this, being that I am completely in love with high school…

Can it please be March? I want to know where I will be attending in the fall! Ahhhh… such impatience!

I’m so excited for my future - wherever God decides it’ll be :)

Listening to “Songs About Jane,” organizing and folding my clothes, and looking at the beautiful day outside. Happiness would be an understatement :)

Sure, I should be doing homework, but this sounds much more appealing.

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

Excitement and uncertainty, but mostly relaxation and an open hand.

Say When - The Fray

The Girl - City and Colour

Hazy - Rosi Golan

Think of you - A Fine Frenzy

Gravity - Sara Barielles

Winter Song - Sara Barielles & Ingrid Michaelson

Think of Me - Rosi Golan

Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer

Australia - The Shins

Gravity - John Mayer

Down - Jason Walker

The Bartender - Regina Spektor

Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews Band

Hold my Heart - Sara Barielles

The Prayer - Kid Cudi

Razor - Foo Fighters

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Heart of Life - John Mayer

Black Heart Inertia - Incubus

This week, I’m buying Adele’s new album. My obsession with her has rekindled :)

Music speaks the words I am unable to form. Whether I’m happy, sad, upset, nostalgic, or whatever other emotion I’m feeling, music is always there to help me work through those emotions.

I had a conversation with some friends the other day about appreciation of music; it was nice. We talked about how people who play instruments see music differently than other people, and that got me to thinking about why people listen to the music that they listen to.

Is it because of the lyrics that could be meaningful? Or maybe because of the catchy beat? Could it be that the song just plays constantly on the radio, so the song is mindlessly stuck in a head?

Whatever the reason, I realized that music brings people together. No matter where we come from, who we are, what we like, who we hang around, what we plan to do with our lives, we all share a connection - MUSIC.

Is it just me or is that completely awesome? :)

Why is there so much importance and stress placed on college? Why is it so imperative that I go to an amazing university right after high school?

For the longest time, I’ve been living up to this impossibly high standard. I am graduating with a total of 6 AP classes, and all I have to say is, “So what?” What’s the point of taking these classes that kill me and make me lose tons of sleep, just so I can say I took them and get a better GPA? Why do I feel it necessary to have done that? What do I have to show for it besides some college credit and a weighted GPA?

Is that really all that matters? Am I any less of a person for not being Top 20? For not passing one of my AP tests? For not being the smartest?

Is that all that really matters? Am I any more of a person for taking those classes? For challenging myself? For being considered “smart”?

IS THAT REALLY WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT?

This world places values on things like prestige. I’ve realized recently that that’s not what I VALUE. More than anything, I’ve realized that I CAN change lives through other careers other than being a doctor, which is a profession that the world values significantly.

“God doesn’t speak in terms of OCCUPATION; He speaks in terms of PURPOSE.”

My mom recently asked me, “What do you want out of life the most?” All I want is a life to share with someone - my husband, my kids, family, and friends. I want to be HAPPY and if I can change one person’s life for the better, I will feel accomplished. Most of all, I want to be a reflection of something completely bigger than myself.

“The greatest act of worship is to be the person that God intended you to be.”

So the point of all of this is that no matter WHAT I do, I just want to do what God wants me to do. I need to trust Him and where He wants to be…regardless of what I want. I’m going to be happy with wherever I end up for college, with the GPAs I get this year, with the choices I make, with the career choice I make, and with the people I choose to surround myself with.

“When you begin to realize the purpose of your own design, you begin to do so much more than occupy space - but to serve God’s purpose for the greater good of humanity.”

Last night was exactly how I hoped it would be. What a perfect end to my season.

Although I lacked the words for each one of my team members at the time, I think every one knew what I was meaning to say, and that is comforting.

It’ll be weird not spending every day after school and every weekend with those people, but I know that I will still see them at school.

I wonder what I’ll do with all of this free time now. More naps definitely.

All of the people are so wonderful. I just have so much love for everyone and am so thankful to know them.

Last night, all I could think was about how no words can justify how much God has blessed me. I was just… in awe. I’m so lucky :)

Lately, I have been doing a lot of wondering.

Usually I’m private about those thoughts, but my perspective has changed.

I’m more interested in taking more chances, rather than waiting.

“If you want something, go for it. Don’t wait for good things to come to you. Good things come to those who earn it .”

:)

Songs I’ve been loving:
Little House - Amanda Seyfried
Megan - Bayside
Sunrise - Brandon Heath
Oh, Hello - Circa Survive
In Fear and Faith - Circa Survive
Yellow - Coldplay
Fear - Drake
Carolina - Eric Church
Ungodly Hour - The Fray
Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
At or With Me - Jack Johnson
Go On - Jack Johnson
Vultures - John Mayer
If You Don’t Mean It - Jon Peter Lewis
Coldest Winter - Kanye West
Spiralling - Keane (Seriously such a fun song!)
Look at Me - Keri Noble
The Prayer - Kid Cudi
The Quiet Screaming - Legion of Doom
Red Meets Blue - Matt Wertz
Back in June - Matt Wertz
I Will Not Take My Love Away - Matt Wertz
House of the Rising Sun - Muse
A City of Water - Ocean is Theory
More Than Conquerors - Ocean is Theory
A Good Idea at the Time - OK Go
Safe - Phil Wickham
Lucky - Radiohead
Sarah - Ray LaMontagne
Better - Regina Spektor
Crazed - Rondo Brothers
One Sweet Love - Sara Barielles
The Violet Hour - Sea Wolf
My Two Cents - Shane Piasecki
Ageless Beauty - Stars
For the Widows in Paradise - Sufjan Stevens
Healing Begins - Tenth Avenue North
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap 
When it Rains - Tristan Prettyman

Albums I’ve been loving:

• Under the Summer Sun by Matt Wertz
  It’s delicious. Then once you fall in love with him (and thank me for sending this knowledge your way), preorder his new album on iTunes.
• To The Sea - Jack Johnson
  Jack is really a solid love of mine. He never disappoints. It’s what I listen to when I’m doing homework, or taking a bath. Relaxing, and it reminds me of the beach. Love it.
• Because of the Times - Kings of Leon
  Another one of my favorite albums at the moment. Older, yeah, but there’s a good mix of songs. I listen to every genre, so I don’t like albums that all sound the same. It’s a winner fasho. Just like their other two albums.
• I Am Not a Human Being - Lil Wayne
  Really? Does it even need an explanation? He is just TOO GOOD.
• MOTM: Vol. II - Kid Cudi
  I’m a recent fan of Cudi. Some of the songs are a little annoying, but most of them are getting stuck in my head errdaaay! Listen to him, you won’t regret it. Unlike most rappers, he inspires with his lyrics.
• Bring Me Your Love - City and Colour
  Ugh. This album just makes me cry because it’s so beautiful. His voice is so different, and he’s a lyrical genius. Future boyfriend, take notes on what he says. I’m obsessed with CAC, and this album is my favorite of theirs. GET IT!
• Carolina - Eric Church
  A fantastic country album. He’s grown on me over the months (especially because my best friend forces me to listen to him), and this album is great. Carolina is one of my current favorite songs off of the album. For all of you who aren’t big on country, it’s not too twangy. There’s a few fantastic acoustic songs, and he has the pipes to back up his cute lyrics.

I have all of the music mentioned, and don’t mind burning a CD, so just ask me if you wanna listen to some of it! :) Speaking of, I’m in need of new music, so if you wanna burn me a CD I would love that also! :)

I’m so happy! I love this!

Thankyou to the amazing, everlasting, perfect God! :))))))))))

Ah, seriously tonight was so fun. The best basketball game I’ve ever been to, hands down. Cougs played SO well.

I seriously love my friends. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Sooo thankful for everything and everyone that I have in my life. :)

I am so excited for this weekend :)

Lots and lots and lots of Mock Trial practice, but it’ll all be worth it.

Spending time with my favorite kids on Saturday for babysitting and birthdays!

Bestfriend time that I just LOVE :) Did I mention they’re my valentines? Glad we can split our Me-N-Eds heart shaped pizza in 3 ways. Hahaha!

Oh, V-Day. Not sure how I feel about that one. Just kidding, I’d rather be spending time with my sistas than any mista. I’m a loser for saying that, I know. Whatever, I have friends so it’s okay! Hahaha :)

LOVE my mock trial team. I hadn’t realized how much I do, until we were all giving impromptu speeches. I didn’t get to say all that I wanted to, due to me getting choked up, so it looks like I’ll be writing letters before finals to give to each person on the team.

I love writing letters, especially to special people like them :)

Tonight was awesome. I’m so blessed!

I love to see people happy.

It makes me SO happy, especially when I understand how truly fulfilling it is when things are finally falling into place for those said people.

I’m so happy that I can share and see that happiness with them this week :)

I think that going to watch the sunrise on the beach in a few hours is EXACTLY what I need :) Finally trying to finish a book that one of my favorite girls lent me a long time ago, tonight. I think it’ll put me in the exact state of mind I should be in to go see God’s creation this morning :)

I love my life and everyone in it. Despite the sadness, there is so much positivity to go around. Seriously I have so much to smile and laugh about, and this past week/weekend was the PERFECT reminder. :)

God is SO great :)